January 2010
30 posts
"The things you love annoy me."
dailyhuff:
From: How to be a Tumblr Contrarian, by most Tumblr users at one time or another.
Comics abusing Twitter
Hey, stand up comics, comedians, whoever you are, if you are doing a show and you want to tell everyone about it, please post that information to your web site, Facebook page, whatever. Most people read your Twitter feed for funny musings, and most of us don’t live anywhere near you are announcing your shows. If we like you enough, we’ll be checking out your web site/FB...
F U C K
Why is that the worst curse word? And why does it also mean to have sexual intercourse? I think it’s an unfair association.
Now “porking”, that’s the word for having sex. Get it right.
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
Yeah, I have OCD, and yeah, I can’t go to sleep because Lady Gaga, in her song “Bad Romance”, says, “I don’t wanna be fwiends”, like Elmer Fudd. It’s driving me batshit insane. Why in the name of all that is holy does she say that?
There are things I'm not proud of
in my life. One of them is my cyborg penis.
The Fart Whistle
Unlikely for a superhero name, no?
1 tag
I'm Not Sure
I’m not sure I can be without CoCo until September. That’s too far away. I hope he takes a few TV and movie roles to keep us happy.
Movie Reviews in the Trailer
Do you really think you’re fooling us anymore, movie studios? There have been quite a few comedy bits about this, but it’s getting worse. It’s really getting ridiculous now. I propose that there is an inverse ratio to the number of blurbs announced in the trailer to the quality of the movie. At least before you could read what idiot called a movie like Old Dogs “A laugh...
test.
(via anokaything)
2 tags
Fame!
You’re not going to believe it, but Fame, you know the recent remake of the 1980s film, didn’t do too well as I recall, it’s coming to DVD and Blu Ray with an extended dance edition. Yes, because if you want people to buy your movie that already sucks, put more dancing in it.
Is it me?
or does in virtually every 911 call they play on TV, the operator sounds like a total dick?
Operator: 911 Emergency
Victim: I’ve been shot in the face! Please send help!
Operator: Remain calm, sir. Who shot you?
Victim: Blurgghhh gurgle.
Operator: Sir, what is your address?
Victim: Aaaaargghhh…
Operator: Are you currently happy with your long distance service? Sir? Sir?
Thoughts of the day
Hi, I’m Andy Rooney.
Where in the world did Patrick Fugit’s career go? He did the one movie, Almost Famous, then seemingly disappeared. Well, I have a secret for you, he hasn’t disappeared. He’s been in some truly awful films that Comedy Central runs when no one’s watching. I guess CC loses less money when they play terrible movies than a 1 hour DualSaw infomercial.
...
Watchrobhuebel:
Jay gets abused on his own show. Gets good around 2:40.
What's in a name?
Obviously, my real name isn’t Unicornball. But I wish it was. Like, if I’m ever credited for something, I would love to be credited as “Unicornball”. It’s my dream to be on Saturday Night Live and hear Don Pardo say something that ridiculous.
The Rise and Fall of the Cone Bone
I’m formally requesting a “Really?!?” segment on Weekend Update this Saturday Night. I think it’s only fair, because all I can think every time I read something about Jay Leno’s show moving back to 11:35 is “really???”.
Here’s the whole scenario, boiled down to the important points.
Man meets girlish boy. Man promises that boy his pretty pony, but...
Muppets
I’ve been seeing a lot of advertisements depicting the Muppets volunteering for whatever organization so they can get a free 1 day pass to a Disney theme park. Question: if the Muppets are owned by Disney, why do they need a free pass to a Disney park? The perks must be terrible at the House of Mouse.
2010: The Year We Make Contact
I am so glad it’s a new year and a new decade. I mean seriously, WTF last 10 years? You know what 2010 means? It means jet packs and hoverboards for everyone coming soon. I’m especially looking forward to the sex robots, but maybe that’s just me.
